When we were at school, we had big ideas about where we were going to holiday once we hit the big 1-8. We’d seen The Inbetweeners Movie and quite frankly; we were ‘avin a bit of that - and for the older millennials among us, it was probably more about Kevin and Perry Go Large.
Days were spent dreaming of living the life overseas in some of Europe’s (in theory) most hedonistic of holiday destinations...
Fish bowls. You just wanted a bloody fish bowl in Kavos, dammit. You watched What Happens In Kavos, and were hankering to reach the same dizzy heights.
FuLl MoOn PaRtY 2k15, anyone?
Kos was alllll about the foam parties. And whatever went on in that foam party, stayed at the foam party. Quite literally when it came to the number of bodily fluids you left behind.
It’s unsure how many babies have been conceived at a Kos foam parties between 2006-16 inclusive.
3 Ayia Napa
You read somewhere when you were about 15 that The Castle Club was voted the best club in the world, and you wanted a slice of that action. You pined to go home with sunburn, alcohol poisoning and a T shirt that said “I’m in Napa Bitch!”.
It’s the actual place The Inbetweeners Movie was set, so OBVIOUSLY it’s up there on your list of go tos. All you want is your very own hollowed out watermelon of vodka and the knowledge that now you really are a grown up.
Now it's been unnecessarily tarnished by one girl, a million blow jobs and Jeremy Kyle getting pepper sprayed - but in simpler times we just wanted to go to Magaluf because our Mum called it ‘Shaguluf’ and we wanted to see what all the fuss was about.
We now think our Mum had a premonition and knew one girl, a million blow jobs was a coming. Freaky shit. Plus, Geordie Shore once filmed an entire season in Magaluf. An ENTIRE season.
Teenage dreams are made in the Fiesta Del Agua in Es Paradis. When most of us finally make the pilgrimage we'll make the stark realisation afterwards that they use the same water throughout the season - in other words, you'll most likely have tetanus and an unplanned pregnancy upon exit.
You’ll probably go back to San Antonio when you’re about 27 – and say you're only going to Playa D’en Bossa "for old times sake" only to feel very very old indeed.
Having dipped your toes into the clubbing nectar of Tenerife while on a family holiday when you were 14, you long anticipated the day of your return minus the parentals.
What’s more – THEY HAVE A LINEKER'S BAR.
You longed to check into a two-star hotel, hit the strip, get harassed by a promoter and be given a free shot of sugary shit that they allege is alcoholic.
You spent much of sixth form gathering round for urban legends about a ‘dentist chair’ in a place called Wild Coyote, aching to vomit in the pool the next day.
9 Download Festival
However, those more partial to a mosh amongst you probably just wanted to break your leg in a mosh pit listening to Bring Me The Horizon.
Featured image: The Inbetweeners Movie/Entertainment Film Distributors