Things that suddenly become important when your dissertation is due

I need to go on a two hour walk. Now.


Dissertations are the highlight of your university career, right? A chance to spend a good amount of time exploring the topic closest to your heart, right?


Importantly, you'll be fine; the deadline's five months away. Ok, four months. Three days.

Sure, you could be doing more work. But as you sit in the library, staring wistfully into the distance telling yourself this counts as 'research', a great deal of really important things that you really need to do suddenly crop up.

Life works in mysterious ways, eh?

  1. 1 Your living room urgently needs more bunting

    Especially if you're a humanities student, your home is your office right? Then it's vitally important that it's a versatile, calm workspace.

    Conclusion: Make and hang more bunting.

  2. 2 You need to cook that new recipe

    How can you be expected to work without sufficient brain food? You must stop working this afternoon - nay, immediately - and cook this three hour healthy recipe before you have the strength to work again.

  3. 3 You need to visit that small independent coffee shop

    You came to a new city to embrace the new way of life, which includes supporting local businesses.

    You must pay a visit to this trendy coffee shop before it closes due to lack of custom - for the greater good.

  4. 4 Your desk needs a thorough tidy

    Yeah, you tidied it yesterday, but you didn't wipe it down, did you?

    Come to think of it, your whole room needs a tidy.

  5. 5 That new art exhibition will boost your productivity

    How can you be expected to feel academically inspired with no inspiration?

    A visit to the art gallery doesn't count as a day off, no sir. You're practically producing new material already - just, uh, in your head.

  6. 6 Now's the perfect time to take up Mindfulness

    But by mindfulness you really mean sitting on your bed listening to tunes. It's just your personal take on meditation, alright?

  7. 7 Current affairs become particularly interesting

    Wow, the BBC website is just unmissable. Someone stole Jeremy Corbyn's shoes, and some player did a thing on a football pitch.

    You weren't even into football before, but now it's essential you keep up to date every 40 minutes.

  8. 8 It's time you caught up with long lost friends

    What ever happened to Charlotte? Did she ever get that acting career going?

    Either way it's dreadful how you two lost contact, so you should send her a 300 word Facebook message right away before you forget.

  9. 9 You need to make a 'dissertation playlist'

    You can't work without brain-stimulating tunes. Classical music is meant to help with productivity, right? And Beyoncé.

    This should only take a few hours.

  10. 10 It's never too early to start Christmas shopping
  11. 11 It's really time you did some exercise

    You know what they say: Healthy body, healthy mind.

    So what if I haven't gone jogging for years? I need to release stress... and stuff.

    And run. Far, far away.

    Feature: Fox