13 stages of Freshers' Flu

Is it just a glorified hangover... Or something more sinister?

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It's Freshers' Week (or Freshers Fortnight for some of you lucky lot). The combination of all night dancing, sugary shots and kissing questionable strangers makes for the MOST FUN EVER - but then one day you wake up and you feel a bit... different. Not quite right. You shrug it off, it's probably nothing. It's definitely not Freshers Flu... Definitely not....

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1. The sniffles

You start sniffing, maybe the odd cough, but it's nothing too serious, there's a school disco tonight and you've got your outfit sorted... You'll be fine.

2. The headache

I mean, it could just be all the tequila, right? That's all it will be. Nothing to worry about here...

3. More denial

'Me? No, no, I'm not ill. I feel great, I feel FABULOUS even. Turn that light down a bit though, my head is banging'

4. The constant sneezing

'No but really - ACHOO... I'm fi - ACHOO... Where are the tissu - ACHOO'

5. Anger

'WHY ME? WHY? JOHN FROM FLAT 5 HAS BEEN OUT TWO MORE NIGHTS THAN I HAVE AND HE IS FINE.'

6. Even more denial

Guys seriously, I'm alright. My whole body hurts but it's nothing a pound a pint can't fix... Honestly.

7. Hot and cold

Boiling. Freezing. Boiling. Freezing. Covers on. Covers off. Urgh.

8. Indecisiveness

'Maybe I SHOULDN'T go out tonight? But it is a toga party...I love togas.

9. Peer pressure

'Oh okay, I'll come out. I don't feel THAT bad. Is it cold in here? I'm REALLY cold. Guys?'

10. That hit by a truck feeling

A culmination of all your symptoms IN ONE GO. You would actually rather be hit by a truck.

11. Acceptance

It's all over. This is the end.

12. Crying

'I'm in so much pain...so much pain. I will never be well again. Ever.'

13. Calling your Mum

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