Sex in a relationship is a whole different ball game (pardon the pun) to the sex you have when you’re single, and being the greedy millennials we are it’s easy find yourself yearning for the one you don’t currently have.
However, after much analysis, it’s not that the grass is greener, rather it’s just different – and to be honest, it’s all pretty darn green.
Single sex can quite often be fraught with angst
'Where is this going?' 'Is it too soon?' 'What the heck do I do with THAT?' When you’re in a relationship this fear of rejection is replaced with trust and security – and that normally equates with delicious sex.
However, despite their bad press – one night stands can have their pluses
If done for the right reasons, you can feel liberated, and have bangin’ sex without any emotional ties or awkward meetings with their parents. You can also learn about what you’re into and what your bits like. Just remember that you aren’t Mila Kunis and he isn’t Justin Timberlake and that it’s rare that people sex their way into a relationship. Keep your expectations realistic and you can have a whole load of fun.
If you’re single and having no strings sex, experts reckon you have lower expectations and are more likely to be uninhibited, compared to when you’re in a relationship. Therefore, you're more likely to take a dive into the sexual wilderness and be more initially experimental with someone you know you probably won’t see again. Basically, you don’t give as many fucks and one night of intense chemistry can be a truly great one.
With this in mind, when it comes to casual sex there’s no such thing as ‘a headache’ – if you’re hooking up then you know what the plan is and that can be kind of cool.
That is as long as neither of you have ulterior motives – no one ever sexed anyone into a relationship they didn't want to be in. Make sure you both know where you’re at to avoid any feelings getting hurt.
Saying that, emotional ties can make for the best sex too
When you’re really in love with someone sex can take on a whole new dimension of awesomeness. True intimacy comes from a real connection that takes time to grow. With hookup sex your body might orgasm, but with relationship sex MAYBE YOUR HEART WILL TOO
Did we really just say that?
Plus, you have time to fine tune your routine
When you’re single, you just don’t know how each other work - he just put his finger WHERE? When you’re coupled up things become harmonious and work like clockwork – you know exactly how, when and where to get them off and can skip the potential awkwardness of guessing what each other like. Practice definitely makes perfect when it comes to naked playtime.
However, on that note it can be tempting to fall into lazy habits so it’s important to keep trying new things. Remember, when time is not an issue, the possibilities are endless.
Likewise, when you’re single, if you’re being honest, you don’t have the luxury of knowing where your next naked cuddle is coming from. Whereas when you’re coupled up you have the security that you’ll be getting some regular sexyfuntimes - which is a definite bonus.
However, pent up sexual tension is the best damn thing on earth
Whoever works out how to bottle that shit and sell it will be a very rich individual indeed. And once you’ve uncorked, so to speak, there’s no getting that back. In this sense, sleeping with someone for the first time is the best. Novelty is hot. Similarly pencilling in a Fuck Date with a friend with benefits can be incredible foreplay and the anticipation of what’s (or who’s) to come is normally a hugely sexy thing.
Well, until the morning after, anyway
Due to the often spontaneous nature of such events, the morning after can be fraught with last night’s clothes, bad breath and cracking hangovers. Plus, you definitely didn’t sleep because you don’t know each other well enough yet even though you just did ALL the naughties.
Whereas the morning after relationship sex is more likely to feature Saturday Kitchen in bed and a spooning sesh. We think we know which wins in this round.
To summarise, a wise man (aka someone on Reddit) once said, “hook ups versus relationship sex can be like comparing a main dish to dessert. Dessert can be really amazing, but is not really sustaining.”
However, sometimes doesn't everyone just fancy a bit of dessert?
Featured image: Flickr