Thanks to all films, music videos and books ever made, we always imagined one night stands to be nights of outrageous anonymous sexytime, before saying bye bye to our mysterious hook up forever.
But whether you've had one night stand or 37, it soon becomes apparent that's... not how always how it pans out.
1 Expectation: You spot someone and think
Reality: You spot someone and think
Celebrate imperfections, and all that.
2 Expectation: You catch their eye like
Reality: You catch their eye like
You weren't blessed with grace.
3 Expectation: You seduce them like
Reality: You seduce them like
We are but young for a brief amount of time.
4 Expectation: The best sex of your life
Reality: Some sex
That was nice.
5 Expectation: Two condoms are enough to last the night
Reality: 50 condoms are enough to last the night
Drunken condom-fitting skills are easily overestimated.
6 Expectation: This is goodbye forever
Reality: This isn't goodbye forever
You bump into them by the Aldi aubergines the very next week because yes, they do live in the same city.
7 Expectation: In the morning you're like
Reality: In the morning you're like
Sex is hungry work.
8 Expectation: You slip away unnoticed
Reality: You slip away past seven housemates
9 Expectation: Epic walk of shame home
Reality: "Your Uber driver is arriving now"
Why the hell would you walk?
10 Expectation: You were an anonymous sexual animal of the night
Reality: Social media
Drunk you thought becoming Facebook friends would be *hilarious*.
11 Expectation: Remorse
Long may the cycle continue.
Feature image: Leah Buckley