Best drunken texts from users

We asked you to send us the most amusing drunken texts/Facebooks posts you've ever sent or received - the results are pretty damn brilliant..

Drunk texting.jpg

Ever been drunk and sent a drunken text to someone you didn't mean to? Ever received a Facebook post from a mate a bit worse for wear?

Along with the fascinating results of the Student Drinking Survey 2011 and finding out which universities drink the most in the University Drinking League 2011, we also asked you to send in the best incomprehensible drunk mumbles you've ever sent or had sent to you, and the results were brilliant.

From someone boarding the ferry to Dublin to taste 'real Guinness' to another accidentally sending their mum a filthy text, these messages are proof that nothing good comes out of drinking. Honestly, when will someone invent phones and computers with breathalysers that don't allow you to drunken text or post? Someone call Dragon's Den.

Please feel free to leave your own drunken texts / drunken posts examples in the comments below - you've gotta share the fun with the rest of the world!

"Don't let the fox eat me!"

"hafr, ir hu sofri,oops. tiun fie bed. jus woiken uo in sfhiwer, hbd so crihjlu. sorrui." This was meant to say: "Hey, I am sorry, Oops. Time for bed, just woken up in shower, hand so crinkley. Sorry!" That night I had finished a hockey umpiring course. I was being tucked up in bed at 12.30am and woke up at 5.45am in the shower (on my own) with the water running. My hands were soo wrinkly and my head was spinning!

"I just fell over in the corridor and lay there for a while but shh don't tell anyone," posted on my Facebook wall.

"No sleep. Wrong train. 42 stops. Fml."

"Pissed as a fart. on millennium bridge. boris bikes. good times. xxxxxxxx"

"U and me r like pees an carararts. with gravy nd chicen and pototeas. i f**kin luv u man."

"Why is there a cat in my room?"

A boy posted on my Facebook wall when he was drunk, declaring his love for me. I had only met him once.

A guy from our school went on the ferry to Dublin because he wanted a "pint of real guiness!" He post it as his facebook status, and that's how people knew where he was.

A message was sent to me from my friend confessing their love for me. Turns out they actually meant to ring my sister. That was awkward.

After a heavy night out, I got in and posted a Facebook status saying "I'm gonna watch all 3 lord of the rings and there's nothing any of you can do about it." I do not own any of the lord of the rings.

After a night out I was dumped via text. It was only two days later when I was in a sober state and re-read the text that I realised I had been dumped.

"Are you eating properly?" - sent to an ex.

From a friend: "I love you more than I love cheese!"

"Hi, my name is ET and i am riding my bicycle to the moon."

I got the following text off my friend, without receiving the previous text she thought she'd sent: "In addition to that text, you wanna see what i had on my head all night! God knows how i pulled!" She then went on to explain that she had been wearing some sort of chicken hat unknowingly and it had acted like a 'mating call'

"I got with Charlotte! YAY!" - sent to Charlotte by mistake.

"I like eggs.. do you like eggs?"

"I love you, I'm the Tardis." This text makes much more sense when you realise that I sent it to my boyfriend, and I was dressed as a Tardis. He simply didn't know that...

I once sent my boyfriend "You're better than nann bread...even peshwari."

I received a message from a guy in my halls who had to take me home as I had had too much to drink. He said something along the lines of: "From what you were telling me tonight it sounds like you have some serious issues, I think you need to talk to someone about them". As it turns out I was telling him about a plane crash and being pregnant and an island where everything comes round to bite you in the arse. I didn't realise it was possible to make 'Lost' sound like your real life.

My friend sent her ex a dirty text to invite him round that night... but sent it to her lecturer!

I received a drunk text from a friend which split into 17 messages. It was just the lyrics to Robbie Williams' ''Angels".

I sent a drunken text to my ex about 6 weeks after we'd gone our separate ways. The next day my phone showed all the messages, including a 20 minute phone call I have no recollection of. It turned out I had wanted to make another go of it and we had got back together! I spent the next week ignoring the hundreds of email/texts/calls because I couldn't face telling him the truth!

I sent an embarrassing voicemail to my phone that i thought had been stolen. It was returned to me the next day with the voicemail "I am proper angry and I will call the police. Police will be involved. You have 10 seconds to return my phone to me or you will get cake in your face. Thank you, bye."

I've told someone I fancy the pants off them and that they're gorgeous for them to come back and ask who I am :(

"I think I am in your bed. Move me if this is the case." Received from flatmate.

I accidentally sent a text to my mum,that was meant for another friend with a name beginning with the letter 'M'. It said, "I think your fit and would demolish you". I then got one back off my mum just saying "Thanks".

I texted my boyfriend instead of my dad once. He thought I was seriously calling him "Daddy" and nearly broke up with me.

Oh dear...If you take a look at the complete results for:

The University Drinking League 2011

The University Sex League 2011

...then you'll probably get a pretty good idea of where most of these text and posts have come from.