11 weird novelty vibrators to jazz up your solo sex game

One of them actually talks to you.


Fallen out of love with your Rampant Rabbit? Why not replace it with an actual cast of your boyfriend's penis? Or a vibrator shaped like a 'frisky fireman'?

Why not indeed.

To be honest, the most novel thing about these novelty vibrators is their lovingly crafted descriptions. All those English literature graduates you said would end up working in McDonalds? Yup, they're all sex toy copywriters now.

  1. 1 The rubber duck replacement
    Source: SexShop365

    Product title: I Rub My Duckie Paris, Travel Size Gold

    Price: £17.10

    Product description: "Shimmering silver and luminous gold travel size I Rub My Duckie Paris brings a renewed level of passionate sophistication to your life and boudoir. One look into her sultry amber eyes and you will immediately succumb to her radiating elegance.

    "Her shimmering boa blowing in the breeze, her glittered beak and genuine Swarovski crystal accent dance playfully in the evening light as her body glides luxuriously over your skin. Like all well bred duckies, she is waterproof, so you are ready for the next adventure, wherever it may take you!"

    Sexiness rating: 6/10

    Novelty factor: 8/10

    Special feature: Now you'll chuckle every time someone suggests 'feeding the ducks'.

  2. 2 The BONDAGE duck
    Source: SexShop365

    Product title: I Rub My Duckie Bondage Black And Red

    Price: £17.10

    Product description: "If you have a favourite duck for bath time I bet your favourite duck isn't as good as the I Rub MY Ducky Bondage duck, a sensual massaging duck that can be used anywhere and at any time you feel in the mood to play.

    "The fabulous I Rub MY Duckie Bondage massager is a cute and sexy black and red duck with a bondage theme going on and features a strong but quiet motor to send orgasmic vibrations right to where you desire it most."

    Sexiness rating: 7/10

    Novelty factor: 8/10

    Special feature: It's a bondage duck. Duh.

  3. 3 The talker
    Source: MenKind

    Product title: Bad Vibes Vibrator

    Price: £7.99

    Product description: "Are you bored of the same old Valentine’s gifts year in, year out? Well if you want to spice up the bedroom, gift a hilarious novelty gift, or perhaps get yourself a treat, then meet Freddy.

    "This fully functioning vibrator has the visage of Freddy, the man that spouts excuses for not wanting to perform. In amongst all the grumpy phrases however there is one that hints that he is in the mood and is no longer giving ‘bad vibes’."

    Sexiness rating: 1/10

    Novelty factor: 5/10

    Special feature: Beats the abysmal 'bantz' provided by your Tinder matches. Probably.

  4. 4 The weed one
    Source: Ganja Vibes

    Product title: Mary Jane Vibrator

    Price: $79.69 (£54.72)

    Product description: "For the love of Cannabis and Climax! Combining your two favourite things has never been so good. Sex and Weed have finally been fused in this distinctive collection of adult products inspired by Cannabis lifestyle.

    "Get the hook up and score with Ganja Vibes. You don't have to partake in ganja to love the vibes. Although, it is well known that Cannabis as an aphrodisiac has definitely enhanced the pleasure principle experience time and time again. It's about freedom and connection so get high and get off."

    Sexiness rating: 7/10

    Novelty factor: 4/10

    Special feature: Vibes. All kinds of vibes.

  5. 5 Your new boyfriend
    Source: SexShop365

    Product title: Screaming O BOB Battery Operated Boyfriend Vibrator

    Price: £23.50

    Product description: "Looking for a boyfriend? Meet OBOB - your dream guy. This new vibrator from Screaming O is here for all those lonely hearts. He'll always look after your needs with a thoughtful 100% smooth silicone head that has three speeds plus one pulse mode.

    "He's super flexible with a bendable neck for targeted stimulation. Wireless and waterproof he's there for you wherever you need him, including the bath. A stand up guy who looks inconspicuous on a desk or shelf."

    Sexiness rating: 2/10

    Novelty factor: 6/10

    Special feature: Less of a fuckboy than your last boyfriend.

  6. 6 The 'frisky fireman' vibrator
    Source: vibratorandadulttoy.com

    Product title: Frisky Fireman Pleasure Vibe

    Price: $9.95 [£6.84]

    Product description: "Tease and please yourself with a whole new authority... with our Professional Series play vibes! Each one is individually fashioned in their own sexy theme to please anyone who has a "thing" about a man in uniform! Super powerful MS vibrating action and water proof."

    Sexiness rating: 0/10. Come on, this one looks like an actual toy.

    Novelty factor: 4/10

    Special feature: This range also includes a police officer, doctor and 'naughty judge'. Hot stuff.

  7. 7 This banana
    Source: SexShop365

    Product title: Banana Vibrating Fruits

    Price: £17.55

    Product description: "This fruity and fun vibrator is certain to satisfy the cheeky monkey inside of you, giving you an orgasm that is truly top banana! Measuring 8 inches in length, this by no means a novelty, with a texture that feels incredible on penetration and will satisfy your primal needs.

    "A contoured and ribbed texture gives great feelings during vibrations, while a mischievous, grinning face detail adds an extra bit of bump to your grind. Whether you’re looking for a tingling tease or powerful pounding, there’s always an opportunity to slip on this banana skin."

    Sexiness rating: 1/10

    Novelty factor: 8.5/10

    Special feature: One of your five a day.

  8. 8 The decorative one
    Source: vibratoradulttoy.com

    Product title: Pink Party Necklace

    Price: $5.95 [£4.08]

    Product description: "Make a statement without saying a word with these fun and frisky metallic party bullet necklaces. Powered by a whisper-quiet motor, these tiny ticklers deliver incredible multispeed vibrations with the turn of a dial.

    "Simply detach the bullet from the beaded necklace and you`re ready to get your buzz on. Try them in the shower or spa and turn bath time into party time! Great for bachelorette parties, home parties, or any other festive occasion."

    Sexiness rating: 6/10

    Novelty factor: 6/10

    Special feature: Now you never need visit Accessorize again.

  9. 9 This vibrator that's also a loofah
    Source: vibratoradulttoy.com

    Product title: Pecker Scrubby

    Price: $6.95 {£4.77)

    Product description: "Get down and dirty while you`re getting clean. This scrubby has a pecker handle for those hard to reach places. Start your day out with a little smile from the shower throughout the rest of your day."

    Sexiness rating: 2/10 (imagine if actual dicks had loofahs attached to them?!)

    Novelty factor: 7/10

    Special feature: This one speaks for itself.

  10. 10 The glow-in-the-dark one
    Source: Spencer's Online

    Product title: Glow In The Dark Bullet Vibrator

    Price: $10.99 (£7.54)

    Product description: "Orgasmically explosive, that is! You'll be amazed at the power contained within the compact Glowing Bullet vibrator.

    "It may be teeny, tiny, but this versatile personal massager provides sexual stimulation that's guaranteed to get you off, even when the lights are off, thanks to its glow-in-the-dark plastic shell. This bullet is really lights out!"

    Sexiness rating: 7/10 (Imagine if actual dicks had loofahs attached to them. Just imagine.)

    Novelty factor: 3/10

    Special feature: It glows in the dark, doesn't it?

  11. 11 The make-your-own vibe
    Source: Spencer's Online

    Product title: Clone-A-Willy Do It Yourself Vibrator

    Price: $39.99 [£27.40]

    Product description: "The 'Clone Your Guy' Do It Yourself Vibrator Kit empowers women to create the most intimate and personal sex toy of their dreams!

    "Designed by a doctor, this product comes complete with instructions on how to mold and cast a penis along with everything you need to produce an exact replica of any penis you choose. It's not just a sex toy - it's an experience!"

    Sexiness rating: It really depends on what you've got to work with.

    Novelty factor: 9/10

    Special feature: Could also function as a thoughtful gift to your SO.

    Feature image: SexShop365