You may not be surprised to hear that we at Beans HQ like a laugh. When we're not writing such comedy gold as 14 ways to be a dick in the library or The official rules of halls , we're cracking each other up with our massive banter. *IRONY DETECTOR EXPLODES*
But in this ever changing media world the old classic jokes simply won't cut the mustard. Over the last few years we've seen the meteoric rise of the anti-joke - a joke within a joke, like inception, kind of.
Here we bring you some of the best anti-jokes the internet has to offer. Prepare to laugh, ironically...
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
Because he was hit by a bus.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
What's green and has wheels?
Grass, I lied about the wheels.
How do you confuse a blond?
Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.
*Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.*
Why was six afraid of seven?
It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.
A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation.
Your friend is so gay, he has consensual sex with other men and enjoys it.
There's an Irishman, a homosexual, and a Jew standing at a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community.
How do you make a plumber cry?
You kill his family.
A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?". The duck doesn't say anything because its a duck.
Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle?
Because drawing a perfect circle is impossible for any human.
Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.
What did the homeless man get for christmas?
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse replies "My wife is dying of terminal cancer".
Why did the little girl fall off the swings?
She had no arms.
Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?
Well, it's really nice.
Why was the boy sad?
Because he had a frog stapled to his face.
If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
Why did the chicken commit suicide?
To get to the other side.
Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.
Haikus are easy,
But sometimes they don't make sense.
Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am a dog.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead.
What has two legs, and is red all over?
Half a cat.
What do you do when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
I like my coffee like my women.
Without a penis.