It's official: millennials picked a really stupid time to be born. No matter how hard we work, we're going to spend the rest of our lives spending our low low wages on unaffordable properties let out by lizard people disguised as landlords.
But wait - according to the latest research - we've had something up our sleeves the whole time: the 'Bank of Mum and Dad'.
Yep. Data from Legal & General (L&G) has revealed that people's parents will help finance 25% of all UK mortgage transactions this year.
The frustrating thing here isn't the statistic itself - a number of people's parents are giving them financial support - but the fact that everyone is using this phrase: the 'Bank of Mum and Dad'.
Rather than calling it what it is - parental financial support - everyone's fine with using a term we'd only usually apply to spoilt brats. It implies that, with a wink wink and banter-y elbow, all young 'uns secretly have Pops to lend them a cheeky wad of cash for that house deposit sooner or later.
Let's break the phrase down; who has a Mum and Dad? Most people. Who uses a bank? An even greater number of people.
Therefore the big in-joke seems to be that the 'Bank of Mum and Dad' is a public service all young people can apply to - which they can't - and that whether or not they succeed in squeezing a mortgage out of them, they'd treat their parents like walking cash machines given the chance.
It's all been done before. For decades people have labelled the generation below them as lazy, unmotivated, and undeserving of the privileges bestowed on them. Mostly because it's convenient.
Especially so for baby boomers - aka, our parents' generation. They've enjoyed a number of benefits that we won't; free education, a (pre-cut) welfare state, affordable housing, and a tip-top pension to look forward to.
So for those who don't want to pay forward this luck to their children, this attitude probably helps them sleep at night.
But considering that luck, why the hell shouldn't some people take advantage of their parents' prosperity? After all, it's Mum and Dad that went ahead and conceived them.
That's the thing, parents - you're not being bled dry for the sake of it. It's called having kids.
The rest of us
Forget that 25%. What about the majority of us who aren't blessed with a cash lump sum?
Right now, most agree that young peoples' financial prospects aren't great. Because they're not; 30% of us live in poverty.
At a certain stage in our lifetimes, there's at least the sense we're all in it together; we can all complain about living-wage salaries and a shitty rental market.
But as we hit our mid-twenties and beyond - or whenever the novelty wears off and people start craving their own properties and security - things will begin to change.
Picture this: you and your mate Joe from college are pursuing a similar career and both pay high rents. But two years later, as neither of your careers pay enough for you to save, Joe's dad decides to front him £35,000 towards a house deposit. Your dad can't.
Paul Johnson, director of the Institute of Fiscal Studies, recently said he feared growing inequality in society because young people with rich parents would retain such an unfair advantage in the important years of early adulthood.
How that'll happen is pretty clear, as your mate Joe has demonstrated; while you wonder how to save for a deposit as you barely pay your rent, Joe will ascend the property ladder and grow in capital.
And so it begins; the magical cycle of inequality, and you're invited.
That's why it's a low blow to say there's such a thing as the 'Bank of Mum and Dad'. Because for those of us who won't get that leg up, it all goes downhill from here - and we're more than aware of that.
Feature image: Warner Bros