16 things that always happen at uni parties

There's always an amazing cat.

Parties

Uni parties, eh? Good times.

There are a number of things that distinguish a uni party from any other type of party. Most of them aren't anything to be proud of, but you'll miss them when they're no longer fixtures of your social life. Whether it's bodily functions going wrong or the fascinating cat that everyone strokes for most of the evening, here are the 16 things you're bound to see at every uni party. If you don't see all 16, get out - you're not at a uni party. You're in the wrong place.

  1. 1 Someone loses their phone and gets teary
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  2. 2 You end up having incredibly deep conversations with people you've only just met
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    And you assume they're going to be your new best friends...but you never see them again. Or you do, but when you do it's really weird and you don't mention those conversations you had. But both of you know.

  3. 3 Someone's really sad but won't tell anyone why

    "I'm fine. I'm fine. Just... just leave me alone."

  4. 4 Someone else, on the other hand, tells everyone why they're so depressed, and their tragic life becomes a source of concern for some... and a source of hilarity for others
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  5. 5 The photos from the night make absolutely no sense
  6. 6 Someone's sick in the shower
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  7. 7 At one stage some opera comes on, but no one owns up to putting it on
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  8. 8 There's someone who's forever checking themselves out in the mirror
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    It seems like that's why they came to the party, to be honest. They probably don't have mirrors at their house.

  9. 9 Whoever owns the place ends up getting pissed off with someone and chucking them out
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  10. 10 The cat becomes a minor celebrity
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    "Have you seen the cat?" They've already seen him. Everyone's seen the cat. They love the cat.

  11. 11 People spend most of the night getting excited about something that's apparently going on, but no one can actually give any details about it whatsoever
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    It's definitely happening - Steve told me. He can't tell anyone what's going on though, because Katy swore him to secrecy.

  12. 12 You have no problem treating the place like it's your own - taking all the food, using all the plates...
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  13. 13 ...having sex on someone's bed...
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  14. 14 Most of the night is spent telling people how little fun you're having
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  15. 15 Someone suggests ordering about 600 pizzas, but chickens out at the last minute
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  16. 16 Oh, and then someone floods the toilet
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