18 things that happen at every British picnic

Oh hello, rain.

Picnic feature

It's June! That means it's summer! And, even if the weather isn't reflecting this fact across the country, it means we're officially allowed to start getting our toes out, drinking outdoor pints, and eating carrots dipped in houmous while sitting on some grass.

If you've got a picnic planned in the next week, just prepare yourself for the following to happen...

  1. 1 The sun going in as soon as you sit down
  2. 2 An inexplicable wind that comes from NOWHERE

    Ladies, hold those skirts.

  3. 3 Doritos, so many Doritos

    Plus: three jars of mild Doritos salsa.

  4. 4 Boursin that disappears within the first five minutes
  5. 5 Suspiciously mushy strawberries
    strawberries
    Source: Wikimedia Commons

    They were bought THIS MORNING. WTF happened.

  6. 6 Scotch eggs
  7. 7 The disposable BBQ burning a perfect rectangle in the grass
  8. 8 Someone playing inappropriate EDM on their iPhone

    Dat sound quality.

  9. 9 Tinnies (that spill everywhere)
    tinnies
    Source: Mellon (Twitter)
  10. 10 Wet patches in awkward places

    Damn you tinnies.

  11. 11 The improvised beer-holder
    beer shoe
    Source: Jess Yeates (Twitter)
  12. 12 One of these:
    dip selection
    Source: Tesco

    Wow, so much choice.

  13. 13 A dog that just won't fuck off
  14. 14 A wasp that just won't fuck off
  15. 15 The inevitable cross-contamination of any and all dips
    dips
    Source: RorickM (Twitter)

    What kind of animal does this?

  16. 16 A grassy leg epidemic
    grassy legs
    Source: Samantha Murrell
  17. 17 Carefully posed Instagrams
    picnic instagram
    Source: Kuseiuzlet (Instagram)

    Just out of shot: wet bums, wasps, cross-contaminated dips and four thousand plastic bags.

  18. 18 And of course:

    Well, it wouldn't be a British picnic otherwise.

    Feature image © Twitter