We Brits love a whine about our pitiful summer. But what we fail to see is that having a mere fortnight for unnecessary nakedness and overcast barbecues is actually a blessing. Here's why.
1 Suncream is sticky and full of lies
Even if you pay £9.99 for one of those fancy aerosol things, you're still going to be greasy for at least two showers afterwards.
2 No more default jumper and jeans combos
Your days of wearing garments five times before washing are long behind you, my friend.
3 Peak FOMO
Your smug Facebook friends start pretending to be 'interested in' an array of rooftop parties at bars you haven't heard of. Why can't they just stay at home and order Nandos like they were in January?
4 No more beautifully stodgy winter food
Fancy coping with the meat sweats in this heat? Thought not.
5 Your obnoxious friends' awful holidays
Your Instagram was once a sacred haven of kittens and luridly-coloured bagels, now you can't scroll for 30 seconds without being confronted with 'my view this week' or 'hogdogs or legs??!'.
6 Wave goodbye to sleeping
Even if you phone your mum to ask, you'll still probably end up with the wrong tog rating on your duvet.
7 Resulting in you spending 90% of your time feeling like this guy
Except you, unlike Snorlax, have to go to work.
9 Your overdraft crying tears of cider
You decided to follow suit on the rooftop parties. You were foolish.
10 You no longer have a go-to reason for looking sad
"It's just so grey outside, isn't it?"
11 Public transport is even more hellish than usual
RIP central line passengers.
12 Hangovers feel truly terminal
And you can't even hide under the blankets until it all blows over.
13 The feeling that you have to 'make the most of it'
Don't tell me what to do.
Feature image: Village Roadshow