20 reasons why Justin Bieber is an idiot

Or 20 reasons why we are not Beliebers...


Last week the whole world facepalmed to hear of Justin Bieber's latest faux-pas, in which he signed the guestbook of the Anne Frank museum with "Hopefully she would have been a Belieber!"

...Anne Frank being the young victim of the Third Reich who died in a Nazi concentration camp. Tactful, Justin, tactful.

Despite having a decent set of pipes on him, undeniably striking teeth and a good set of dance moves if you like that sort of thing, there is no getting away from the fact that Bieber comes across as a total and utter tool. Need convincing?

Here are 20 reasons why...

1. THAT comment in the Anne Frank book

"Truly inspiring to be able to come here. Anne was a great girl. Hopefully she would have been a Belieber".

2. He had a pet monkey, then abandoned the monkey in Germany

For his 19th birthday, Justin was given a Capuchin monkey. Just to reiterate that, he got a monkey for his birthday. Most of us are happy with a Scalextric, or a box of After Eights, but no, not the Bieber. He decided to go all Ross from Friends / Michael Jackson.

Wait. It gets better. After having the monkey - which he called Mally - for just over a month, he flew to Germany on his private jet, where his new pet was quickly taken into quarantine for not having the right travel documents.

Now it seems he's not really that arsed about getting it back. He just left it there. His manager emailed asking how long until the monkey would be "euthanised", and then they asked the authorities to stick Mally in a zoo.

Monkey no man's best friend. :(

3. He turned up 2 hours late to a show. On a school night

Bearing in mind that most of Justin's fans are tweens and early-teens, it really wasn't a good idea to come on stage at past 10pm in London on a school night, incurring the wrath of UK parents of Beliebers. Even Will Smith had to have a quiet word about his diva attitude.

4. He thinks the Sistine chapel is called the "Sixteenth chapel"

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During an appearance on The David Letterman Show last June, Justin referred to the Sistine chapel as "the sixteenth chapel". This despite the fact he was repeating was Letterman had just said.

5. He likes to attempt to beat up photographers

In May 2012, when with then-girlfriend Selena Gomez, Justin lost a shoe in a scrap with a paparazzo. (Embarrassing). Then, earlier this year when on the London leg of his European tour he was filmed trying to pick a fight with a British photographer. Who was approximately 14 times the size of him. He said he would "beat the f*ck out of him". Unsurprisingly, he didn't. FAIL.

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6. He got caught doing drugs, not once. But TWICE

Basically, all I'm saying here is LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES, BRO. If you get b*llocked by every media outlet for toking on a joint, don't then leave a bus load of weed in your...well, in your tour bus.

(This week Justin's tour bus was searched in Sweden, and found to contain marijuana as well as a 'stun gun').

7. He was admitted to hospital, and posted THIS selfie

8. He called himself "the Kurt Cobain of his generation"

9. He consistently wears his pants BELOW his arse.

When Barack Obama famously said "a brother should pull up his pants", we can only assume he was talking about Justin Bieber. And if he wasn't, he should have been. REALLY DON'T WANNA SEE YOUR UNDERWEAR.

10. Because he's been to the gym twice, he has this idea in his head now that he's really 'ripped'

He isn't.

11. Doesn't stop him from walking around shirtless at night

Stop it.

12. In fact, he's pretty vain in general

With a brazen love of the selfie....

13. He thinks God gives him special treatment

Quite aside from the fact he has a giant tattoo of Jesus on his calf, he also said this to Teen Vogue in 2013:

"I think that's part of the reason I'm here. Not just because I'm talented, but because God had a purpose for me to just help people. I'm spiritual ... although I slept in [and missed] church yesterday. I haven't been to church in so long, and I planned on going, and I slept in. I was upset. It's all good. God forgives me."

14. It's possible he Beliebes he actually is God...

"I'm 19 with 5 number one albums, 19 and I've seen the whole world. 19 and I've accomplished more than I could've ever dreamed of, I'm 19 and it must be scary to some people to think that this is just the beginning."

15. His grasp on anthropology is pretty sketchy

"I'm actually part Indian. I think Inuit or something?"

They are not the same thing. Nice tattoo, btw.

16. He's stingy

In January 2013, Justin's ex-bodyguard sued the singer for $420,000 in alleged unpaid wages. He also filed for assault, claiming he was repeatedly punched in the chest. Sounds like the Biebs has anger problems worthy of Naomi Campbell.

17. He's a fan of Snapbacks

Yeah, cos that is such a great look.

18....and ridiculously oversized lenses for those with 20/20 vision

19. He dissed our Prince

This is what Justin had to say on the heir (hair?) to our throne...

"I mean, there are things to prevent that nowadays, like Propecia," the 18-year-old singer said. "I don't know why he doesn't just get those things, those products. You just take Propecia and your hair grows back. Have you not got it over here?"

But hey, there's no denying Beauty and A Beat is CATCHY AS HELL...

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And at least he is a good brother

20. But, please, Justin, stop acting like a total moron