7 cats with careers more fulfilling than yours



Ever gazed at a house cat basking in the afternoon sun and thought, 'that's the life for me'?

In actuality, the idea that cats lie around like mere fluff pillows is a common misconception. A lazy stereotype.

For not every cat is a benefit* scrounger, paid for by the hard-working tax payer**. Some cats have focused a great deal of energy towards their careers, and have far surpassed the business success that you can ever hope to achieve.

Here are some of the greatest cat entrepreneurs out there. And don't call them 'cute' - they have a business reputation to uphold.

*Cat food. **You.

  1. 1 Larry, chief mouser to the cabinet office
    Larry Chief Mouser to the Cabinet Office
    Source: Her Majesty's Government

    Currently residing at Number 10 Downing Street, Larry's been on the grind for a good nine years now.

    Hexjam contributor Brenda had the opportunity to meet Larry in cat, and described him as "content" and "well groomed". A true cat of the cats.

  2. 2 Maru, YouTuber

    Maru is a rare sight in the world of cat business. Widely considered the first true cat YouTuber, he has a unique ability to engage with the new generation of social-media-obsessed youths.

    Maru believes that no box is too small, and says having this outlook on life as a whole ultimately led him to success.

    "This one time I climbed into a plastic magazine file, and it was a real milestone," he told Hexjam***.

    "When I first thought of climbing into the plastic case I didn't know how I'd get out of it, you know. But that's what building a successful career is all about - you have to take risks."

    ***This may or may not be true.

  3. 3 Anonymous, cat of the Bag of Nails pub
    Cat with beer mats
    Source: Bag of Nails

    Most pubs are very selective when it comes to the species of their bar staff.

    But the Bag of Nails pub in Bristol is an equal opportunities employer, and is supervised by a number of cats.

    Like any barmaid or barman, one Bag of Nails cat who wished to remain anonymous says he deals with a variety of customers, some trickier than others.

    He's an optimist, however, and believesthis is great prep for the classic 'how have you dealt with a difficult colleague?' interview question.

    Think big, think positive, Bag of Nails cat.

  4. 4 Catmando, joint leader of Britain's Official Monster Raving Loony Party
    Catmando, joint leader of Britain's Official Monster Raving Loony Party
    Source: Wikipedia

    Sadly, Catmando is no longer with us, but his leadership was true.

    Following the death of the previous party's leader in 1999, Catmando became joint leader after a close race with other leadership candidate Alan "Howling Laud" Hope.

    The politician served until his death in 2002, at the age of seven.

  5. 5 Smoothie, model

    Smoothie's often been criticised for going into the modelling industry, but insists she did it to empower herself, not to please others.

    A golden shaded British longhair, Smoothie has amassed 285k followers on Instagram and is best known for her unique green eyes.

    Keep it up, Smoothie.

  6. 6 Tommasino, rich bastard
    fat cat
    Source: Dan Perry

    Some would argue that being filthy rich isn't a career, but sitting at the top of the Fur-bes Rich List (sorry), Tommasino needn't work another day of his life.

    When 94-year-old Maria Assunta from Italy died, she left her entire $15.6 million estate to him.

    Stefania, Maria's nurse told The Daily Mail: "to be honest he doesn't need all that money - he is happy with a saucer of milk and some biscuits", but to prove her wrong Tommasino promptly spent the money on a yacht and is still pissing it up in Saint Tropez.

    (Note: image is an artistic interpretation of Tommasino)

  7. 7 Fred, undercover cat

    In 2006, Fred posed as a patient to help the NYPD figure out if Steven Vassall, a guy claiming to be a veterinarian, was actually practising without a proper license or training.

    After the sting operation, Steven Vassall was charged with unauthorized veterinary practice, criminal mischief, injuring animals and petty larceny.

    Fred insists that he was "just doing his job".