A grey Monday morning, 8:55 AM. You're stood outside the entrance to BoringOfficeCorp Ltd. Today is your first day as a Sub-Junior Regional Marketing Data Account Manager, reporting to the Junior Regional Marketing Data Account Manager.
Today is the first day of the rest of your working life.
Is this really where you want to be? Is this everything you've ever dreamed of from a job? You've got bills to pay and a mouth to feed, but are you really ready to sacrifice your sanity for the sake of a paycheque? The standard office life may not be for you.
Maybe you need something more.
1 The thought of staring at a spreadsheet for the rest of your life makes you want to scream
Nothing wrong with spreadsheets; some people live for spreadsheets, but staring at cells all day is just too much like prison for you.
2 You’ve got better things to do than argue about whose turn it is to buy milk
We could all do without the office politics, but the only real way to do that is to get out of the office. Go and work somewhere where people don't have time to moan about the lack of milk or whose turn it is to empty the dishwasher - there are bigger fish to fry.
3 Why put all your time and energy into an enterprise that means nothing to you?
You're going to spend an awful lot of your adult life at work, so why pump all your energy into something you couldn't give a damn about? Some people are happy to run the rat race, do their bit for whatever company they happened to end up working for, and that's it.
That's not enough for you. You need a reason to come to work that isn't simply: 'My boss will wonder where I am'.
4 You know there’s more to a career than the money you make from it
We all need to get paid, but money isn't the only thing that matters. You could be earning £100,000 a year, but if your job sucks, your job sucks. Besides, you're not just earning money, you're earning experience - and experiences.
5 You need something more challenging than trying to stay awake through growth projection meetings
We all think we want an easy life, but what's the point in getting out of bed if you don't have a challenge to rise to? You shouldn't be sleepwalking through your job, you should want to come into work every day ready to do what you do best: get things done.
6 Frankly, you’re just too damn clever to be a pencil pusher
Let's not beat around the bush here. You're smart, and you've got the grades to prove it, so don't waste that big ol' brain of yours on some dead end job that doesn't need someone like you.
It's not simply a case of being good at maths or knowing a bunch of facts; you're a problem solver. You see patterns, you can analyse, assess and make judgements. There's a better a place for someone with skills like yours.
7 Doing the same thing day in, day out is your idea of hell
Yep, again and again and again. We all need a little routine, but variety is the spice of life, and right now you're butter chicken, baby. If you're the kind of person that wants every day to be different, then maybe it's time to shake things up.
8 You’re too tech-savvy to be mindlessly tapping away on a computer
You don't even think of it as being 'tech-savvy' - it's just part of life now. If you look around and see a bunch of old codgers still getting to grips with their iPhones, then this clearly ain't the place for you.
9 You need to feel like things are actually happening, right now
It's funny, the hours between 9am and 5pm should add up to eight, but some days it feels like an entire year has taken place before you finally get to go home. A 'fast-paced' working environment sounds scary to some, but if things are happening fast then it means they're actually happening.
Your day shouldn't drag, you should be wondering why there aren't more hours in it.
10 There's a whole world out there and you don't want to spend your life stuck between four walls
Just a small town girl, living in a looonely wooooorl- sorry, who can resist Journey? But do you want to stay in the small town mindset, or do you want to take the midnight train going anywhere?
Your job could take you places, it could show you things you'd never have seen otherwise. And we're not just talking South America or Asia; you could see things that few people even know about, let alone see.
11 You want to feel like what you do matters; like you matter
If you've got bigger goals to achieve, if you've got something more to give, if you want to do something of significance, then what are you waiting for?
You've got the talent, you've got the ambition, all you need now is the opportunity. Get out of that office chair and make something of your life.